Muliebrity
Long long ago I had a convo with a boy I had a major crush on, about our future partners (Of course I wished he wished for someone like me) and the boy said that he prefers someone very gentle, pretty and womanly. My heart broke into a million tiny pieces that day because I knew that I am not what he described. Ever since I have been wondering what it means to be 'womanly' because by that time I had already given up on becoming pretty.
After a decade (or so), I am still confused about the topic.
Is it unacceptable that I had to google what womanly qualities are being a woman? Google gives me a long list including warmth, gracefulness, gentleness, empathy, humility, and sensitivity,etc. The list goes on. Aren't these qualities meant to be human qualities? Why would we frame these are feminine?
In our society, we are made to believe that men and women/ male and female are opposites. But are we opposites, really?
I simply can't wrap my head around the thought.
I grew up in a household where manly women were highly regarded. I was encouraged to become one too. I was even dressed as a boy for most of my childhood. It must have become a habit that I still find it comfortable to be in jeans and a t-shirt rather than in a dress. I would happily attend to any man's job without a fuss and I get things done. Sometimes, I know I do better than a man. And of course, I consider this a great strength.
I am still a little fixated on what that boy said about him preferring a womanly partner. I wonder if he found one - a female with 100% womanly qualities. I hope he did (not)!
However, I am happy that it didn't change me. I am glad I chose to keep my manly qualities with me rather than choosing a man who didn't understand these qualities we frame as feminine are qualities every human should have. Imagine sharing a life with someone who hasn't realised this.
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